Family conflict is an inevitable misunderstanding that helps the Christian home to grow stronger if the resolution is carefully done.

About 90 percent of runaway youth accommodated in shelters organized by the Family Youth Service Bureau and 75.5 percent in residential programs reported family conflict as critical issues leading to their homelessness.

This information is alarming, but today’s message would enlighten you on the significance of family conflict and how to get over it in a godly way.

What are the Causes of Family Conflict?

1. Financial matters: Shortage of funds to pay bills or loss of job.   
2. Unfaithfulness: extramarital affairs
3. Different opinions related to child bearing and nurturing
4. Cogent decision-making for the family
5. Lack of proper communication which include; cursing, insulting and yelling can trigger family conflict.
6. Learning to live as a new couple
7. Attempt to separate or divorce
8. Sibling rivalry
9. Scope for child discipline
10. Interference of Extended Family or In-Laws
11. Difference in spiritual understanding

10 Effects of Unresolved Family Crisis

1. Cancelation of Family altar which can cause family dysfunction, such as marital stress, violence and bad psychological manipulation of the children.
2. Emotional disturbance
3. Anxiety
4. Post-traumatic stress syndrome
5. Depression.
6. Family conflict can lead to child neglect
7. Mental Health
8. It melts the Agape love away and could lead to separation or divorce
9. Extreme case of unresolved family conflict can trigger suicidal thoughts.
10.  Family conflicts put-off God’s presence in such family.

10 Steps to Family Conflict Resolutions

Since there is no perfect home without family conflict, then the following reliable resolutions can help you keep your home intact. I won’t forget to tell you that it works for me very well:

1. Recite the Lord’s Prayer: When provocation knocks at your door, respond by reciting the Lord’s Prayer in your heart. This is one of the key solutions that helps me to control exchange of harsh words in my family.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

2. Go for Fresh air: This is essential when the conflict raised the room temperature so high that if care is not taking, it can lead to ‘explosion’. Thirty minutes’ walk can calm your anger and it also give audience to the Holy Spirit to minister peace to you.

3. Find Common level: Arguments does not resolve conflicts. Try to understand the common ground which becomes the parameters for conflict resolution.

4. Listen and Stay Calm: Put emotions aside and listen to what your family members say and understand what they mean. Then carefully explain your side of the topic with the intention to establish a common understanding.

5. Be hard on the challenge: Don’t be hard on your family member(s), but address the problem sharply rather than laying blames.

6. Entertain questions: Questions from both sides would give a clear picture of family conflicts that arise as a result of misunderstanding or misinformation. No one knows all when it comes to family conflict resolution.

7. Open the Bible: Family conflict resolution becomes a reality if you and your family members take the word of God as the reference point. It removes the plank in your eyes.

“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye…?” (Matthew 7:3-5)

8. Family Altar: To pray together is a strong action that solves family conflict very fast.

9. Seeking Elder’s Help: When the family conflict resolution hits the wall at the final stage, then it is wise to invite one or two men of God to mediate.

“Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church…” (Matthew 18:15-17)

10. Contribution of Solutions: Once both sides of the family have a common understanding of the matter, then it is time to allow contribution of solutions from both sides. Your willingness to compromise would achieve meaningful conflict resolutions.

Family conflict is not a curse, but a test situation for every family on earth. Conflict can bring healing, unity and strength to the family if the resolution is done in a godly manner.