Category Archives: Family

Family Conflict in Christian Home: 10 Causes and How to Solve them!

Posted by Jun 11, 2023 Family, Holy Word , 2 Comments
Family Conflict in Christian Home: 10 Causes and How to Solve them!

Family conflict in Christian home is not a strange occurrence and cannot be eradicated but if not resolved with the help of the Holy Spirit, then it becomes a useful opportunity for the evil spirits to torture and break-up the Christian family.

According to Forbes in recent statistics, 70% to 80% of Americans consider their families dysfunctional. It is not good news but if you are going through any form of domestic crisis, today’s message will explain to you the causes and how to solve the family conflict in Christian home.

 What is Family Conflict in Christian Home?

Family conflict is a form of bitter crisis that occurs in the home that leads to collapse of peace and absence of harmony. If not resolved quickly then it can lead to family feud, separation or divorce. Family conflict in Christian home simply refers to disconnection from the Holy Spirit when uncomfortable issues arise.  

 5 Heart-touching Quotes about Family Conflict

Since no spiritual status is above family crisis then I want you to benefit from the quotes below which I love so much:

1. “Prayer, desperate prayer, seems so simple, but it’s a step rarely taken by those in family conflict.” – Erwin W. Lutzer

2. “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” – William James

3. “It is easy to damage relationships when conflict resolutions do not work out. But resolving conflicts is not an impossible task and as long as it is approached with respect and effective communication is applied, it can be a rewarding process that can further strengthen relationships.” – John Ward

4. “Interestingly, when we are in conflict, we are not at our best; in fact, we are most often at our worst. We can be filled with our own pain, fear, uncertainty, righteous indignation, power struggle, self-righteousness, anger, and punitive desires.” – Hesha Abrams

5. “Conflict cannot survive without your participation.” – Wayne Dyer

 10 Causes of Family Conflict in Christian home

1. Communication breakdown

This can happen when family members don’t feel heard or understood, or when there are misunderstandings or miscommunications.

2. Differences in beliefs in values

This occurs in Christian homes where family members have different interpretations of scripture, or when they have different opinions on moral or ethical issues.

3. Financial Stress

It can arise from a variety of factors, such as job loss, debt, or disagreements about spending habits.

4. Parenting Disagreement

This is a common cause of family conflict in Christian home because both parents have unique perspectives and experiences that shape their parenting styles.

5. The interference of Relatives

In-laws, grandparents, siblings, step-children, etc., can all create stress within a family if not properly controlled.

6. Bad Orientation about Sex

Crisis springs up among spouses when frequency and satisfaction of intimacy becomes an issue. And commotion also occurs when parents try to make the children to understand the right time and true usefulness of sex due to the corrupt acts going-on in the society.

7. Distribution of Household work

It’s a potential cause of conflict at home. You need to see how I argue with my wife about the chores I won’t do…I make it funny at the end of the day or else…

8. Unequal Physical and Spiritual Level of Understanding

This factor is a major cause of family conflict in Christian home because the spouse with a higher level gets angry easily due to lower expectations and parents get mad at the children because they expect the children to be brilliant as they are.

9. High tasking job or a church role

Work-conflict is no more news around the world which is a strong cause of family conflict and that is the reason many Pastor’s children are wayward – no time for parental guidance!

10. Inability to identify the period of Temptation

No family on earth can be so perfect to escape the period of temptation. Strife arises when temptation is seen as weakness or unavoidable opportunity to mess up.   

 10 Practical Family Conflict Resolutions for Christian Homes

My home will have broken by now but thanks to the powerful steps below that sustain it and I implore you to follow the points below:

1. Firstly, all Family members must Love the LORD

The first love of every member of your home must be to the LORD. So, read about GOD and understand His will, then your first affection should stick to HIM. Then your other family members take the second position of love in your heart.

2. Your home must be filled with the Holy Spirit

I am not talking about the false speaking in tongues all around us. I mean every member of your family must attain a spirit level where they can hear GOD speak to their inner ears. Family conflict in Christian home would become history if every member hears from the Holy Spirit before acting.

3. Reference to the Bible for Resolution

Many arguments can be resolved if the Holy Bible is used as your reference for resolution. If every member has First Love for GOD and filled with the Holy Spirit, then misconceptions of the Bible passages about selfish interests won’t occur.

4. Create a Family Altar

Family Altar is the space and time created daily for you and your family members to worship, pray and praise the LORD. In my home we find it difficult to sustain conflict so we resolve it before going to the family altar. Thus, forgive and learn to take responsibility without excuses.

5. Do Things Together

You understand each other much more when you do household chores together. Wine and dine at the same table and play together in your compound.

6. Disallow Third Party Interference

I am not against socializing with in-laws but can you make it an annual thing? Don’t seek for help from all friends because their home may be terrible than yours! If the family conflict in your home cannot be resolved with five steps above then seek counsel from a married God-fearing servant of GOD.

7. A gentle answer turns away wrath

Family conflict in Christian home will cease when all members respect one another, listen carefully and speak without yelling or cursing…

8. Don’t follow the Worldly Style

The worldly culture allows abuse, cheat, separation, divorce etc.

9. Run a common Purse like the Disciples

Your spouse and you must have a strong financial understanding of your incomes…no need to hide. Spend responsibly and save wisely. Your children will grow up to follow your footsteps.

10. Speak out when going through Temptation

This step is a powerful one that can prevent family conflict in Christian home. Spouse should share with partner while children should share with their parents. Then their prayers and counselling done in love will defeat the power of such temptation.

  5 Bible Verses about Family Clash

1. “And I looked, and arose and said to the nobles, to the leaders, and to the rest of the people, “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for your brethren, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses.” Nehemiah 4:14

2. “Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” Matthew 18:15

3. “Here am I and the children whom the LORD has given me! We are for signs and wonders in Israel from the LORD of hosts, who dwells in Mount Zion.” Isaiah 8:18

4. “For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.” Matthew 12:50

5. “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” Matthew 10:37

5 Inspiring Prayers to Solve Family Conflict in Christian Home

1. Prayer for Forgiveness

“Our Father in heaven I ask you forgive us for our wrong doings. Pardon us for our failure to hear from you before we act. Wash us and make us clean in Jesus name.”

2. Prayer for Peace

“LORD, my family bows before you and we seek for your powerful intervention to stop the family conflicts that resurface in our midst always, make a pronouncement of peace into this family in Jesus name.”

3. Prayer for Healing

“Heavenly Father, I come to you with this burden that I have been carrying for a long time. Let every hurt, pain and bad memory be washed away with the Blood of Jesus Christ. Cleanse us from resentment and bitterness and help us to love one another just the way you love us.

4. Prayer for Love

Dear LORD, restore your joy in my family and fill our home with the Spirit of your love. Open our eyes to see and understand what it means to love You and love ourselves in Jesus name.

5. Prayer for Blessings

Yahweh, I pray you bless my home with physical wealth and spiritual enrichment and your glory to shine on us, please put an end to family conflict in my Christian home in Jesus name.

 

Family conflict in Christian home is resolvable without getting out of control if you build the foundation of your family on love of God, patience, humility, spiritual understanding, and a solid family altar of worship to the LORD. May the LORD continue to help us keep our family firm and help us defeat all the plans of the Devil who wants endless crises in the family settings on earth.

10 Qualities of a Strong Christian Family

Posted by May 19, 2023 Family, Holy Word 10 Comments
10 Qualities of a Strong Christian Family

A strong Christian family is a bonded relationship among people of same gene that cannot be separated by either spiritual evil forces or bad social influences in the society.

As a Christian, you may be looking for ways to strengthen your family and build a household that reflects your faith. Today’s message will explain the qualities and characteristics of a strong Christian family to you.

How Does GOD Want a Strong Christian Family to Be?

“But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, ‘and the two shall become one flesh’; so, then they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (Mark 10:6-8)

The LORD wants a family to be built on the foundation of a man and woman becoming one flesh through marriage. This union is meant to be exclusive and lifelong, with the couple leaving behind their respective families to form a new generation.

So, the following cultural practices do not originate from the LORD; homosexual marriage, adoption of children by gay partners, polyandry, refusal to give birth to children, lesbian marriage, transgender and the like.

Jesus Christ says by their fruits you shall know them, thus any church supporting such abominable practices above is not of GOD but of the Devil.

What is Jesus Christ’s Teaching about Christian Family? 

“But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers!”

“For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.” (Matthew 12:48-50)

Jesus Christ emphasized the importance of spiritual kinship, stating that those who do the will of God are his brothers, sisters, and mother. This highlights the qualities of a Christian family, which include a strong faith, a commitment to living according to God’s teachings, and a sense of unity and love among its members.

Ultimately, a Christian family is one that prioritizes its relationship with God above everything on earth and seeks to live a life that reflects the LORD’s values and principles of holiness.

5 Characteristics of a Strong Christian Family

Christian families are founded on the belief that God is the center of their lives. They recognize that they are nothing without God and that He is their Creator, Savior, Healer, Comforter, and Provider.

1. The husband is the head of the family and is responsible for providing for the family’s financial, emotional, and spiritual needs.

2. Wife submits and respects her husband and not a lazy partner. (Proverbs 31:10-31)

3. The children obey their parents and are always innocent. (Matthew 18:3-5)

4. Strong Christian family serves as the salt and light of the world.

5. A godly family is built upon the foundation of a strong and committed marriage.

10 Qualities of a Good Christian Family

1. No joke with Prayer Altar

One of the secrets of my conflict-free family is the bond we enjoy in the presence of the LORD when we pray together daily for thirty minutes.

Family altar strengthens connection with the LORD, increases the faith of parents and children during good and challenging times. You can all speak in one voice and pull-down mountains.

2. Quick to Forgive

A strong Christian family settles their differences quickly before going to bed. Forgiveness means letting go of anger and resentment towards others, even when they have hurt us deeply.

This quality makes family prayers to be answered by the LORD very fast and spirit of hatred cannot survive in such a home.

3. Giving Room for Grace

Grace means extending kindness and love to your family members, even when they don’t deserve it. It means recognizing that we are all on the learning curve to become perfect and in need of God’s grace.

4. Good Communication and Listening Attitude

Communication and listening are essential qualities of a strong Christian family. It’s important to create an environment where everyone feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings. This means actively listening to each other without judgment or interruption.

It also means being willing to have difficult conversations and working through conflicts in a respectful and constructive way. By prioritizing communication and listening, you can build stronger relationships and create a more harmonious household.

5. Showing Unconditional Love

The household of a quality strong Christian family does not have characteristics such as selfishness and self-centeredness. Agape love will allow peace and mercy from the LORD to be abundant in your home.

6. Unity and Teamwork

Unity and teamwork are crucial qualities of a strong Christian family. When family members work together towards common goals and support each other through challenges, they build a sense of unity and belonging.

This can be achieved through regular family meetings, where everyone has a chance to share their thoughts and feelings, and through working together on projects or activities. By fostering a sense of teamwork and unity, families can create a strong foundation for their relationships and build a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives.

7. Prioritizes the Word of God 

It is not uncommon in our generation that strange teachings and false doctrines are destroying many families but a strong Christian family cannot be affected because daily group bible study is their favourite practice.

Read your bible together, meditate on the word of God and share scriptural revelations together. Trust me, your household will be spiritually fortified because it works for me so much.

8. Wine and Dine Together

It’s a good practice that connects the family. Christian families prioritize spending time together and sharing meals, as practiced by the disciples of Jesus Christ. (Acts 2:46).

You must understand the importance of healthy eating habits and also involve your children in meal planning and preparation.

9. Produces Fruits of the Spirit

This is a crucial quality of a strong Christian family. Christian families are characterized by the manifestation of the fruit of the Spirit, which includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

All members of your family must be encouraged to practice all the good virtues recorded in the Bible. Living a holy life pleases GOD so much and it presents you and your family as light in the midst of darkness of the world. Putting on seductive dresses, tattoo, artificial make-ups and the likes can’t make you and family different from ungodly family.

10. Sharing the Gospel

A strong Christian family knows that the mission given to them by Jesus Christ is to go out there to share the Gospel of salvation and not to waste their time in gatherings that are after their money. Use your social media platforms and the websites to share the Good News to people.

I cannot quantify the blessings the LORD keeps releasing to me and my family for practicing this act.

 

I implore you to practice the ten qualities of a strong Christian family explained above consistently and I am sure you will contact me to share your wonderful testimonies about the strong love, joy and blessings from the LORD that will fill your household.

15 Most Common Reasons for Divorce You Must Know!

Posted by Dec 31, 2021 Family, Holy Word Leave a Comment
15 Most Common Reasons for Divorce You Must Know!

Divorce is painful to couples and unhealthy to their future generations. So, it is wise to know the common reasons for divorce which helps you to make your marriage stronger and unbreakable.

Today’s sermon highlights the popular and unpopular causes of divorce. And the intension of this message is to discourage divorce at all cost because God hates divorce.

“For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore, take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”” (Malachi 2:16)

According to the United Nations, the Maldives has the highest divorce rate, with 10.97 divorces taking place per 1,000 people each year. Belarus has the second highest worldwide divorce rate, with 4.63 per 1,000, followed by the US.

The CDC reports that there are approximately 827,000 divorces every year. That is roughly 68,916 divorces per month or 2,265 divorces per day.

It would be a joy to the LORD if the number of Christians in these statistics can tend towards zero…

15 Major Reasons for Divorce You Must Avoid!

1. Young Age; A lasting marriage won’t be too impatient to start at teenage or adolescent age.

2. Lack of sound Courtship period; Failure to understand individual difference to some extent before marriage can short-live such relationship. Your courtship must not be a short one and if it doesn’t flow then your marriage cannot be successful.

3. Little or no education on marriage; Learning from Elders, Pastors and other counsellors before marriage helps to destroy the forces of divorce.

4. Financial recklessness; Divorce is imminent if marriage starts on a poverty level or lack of knowledge on money management.

5. Not ready to take responsibilities; when one or both partners lack commitment to sustain the home when things get tough.

6. Toxic communication; careless talks, hot argument, verbal abuse, coarse jokes, not having time to listen to each other must be avoided in marriage.

7. Long-distance marriage; God did not design marriage for husband and wife to live separately.

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)

8. Religious difference; It is too risky in this generation for a Christian to marry someone who is not knowledgeable and faithful to the word of God in the Bible.

9. Sexual intimacy; It’s uncommon for both couples to have the same drive, so both must shift ground for a common point of understanding.

10. Extramarital affairs; Exercise self-control when dealing with opposite sex.

11. Addiction; Drug abuse, alcoholics and gambling are terrible features that kills marriage.

12. Domestic Abuse; Angry moment is inevitable but hitting your spouse is demonic. Go out for a walk when the room is tensed.

13. Cohabitation; Living together with your partner before marriage would likely cause divorce in the future because it is against the plan of God for a happy marriage.

14. Premarital pregnancy; This is a fruit of fornication against God’s will.

15. Parents’ divorce; You and your spouse must put extra effort to keep your marriage by not following the footstep of your parents who subscribed to divorce as a best option.

The points above are the features that leads to divorce, so be faithful to the LORD and to your spouse and avoid all the reasons for divorce.

Happy Marriage: 20 Secrets of Happy Christian Home

Posted by Feb 14, 2021 Holy Word, Family 1 Comment
Happy Marriage: 20 Secrets of Happy Christian Home

Happy marriage for Christian couples is not free of challenge but the beauty of agape love is the string that pulls the joy for the couples.

It is a serious concern to me to minister the helpful steps to take for Christian couples to enjoy a happy marriage because countries keeping marriage statistics shows a red alert. Some youths are scared of marriage due to the fear of sad experience.

For instance, the Census Bureau’s 2017 American Community Survey recorded decline in the U.S. divorce rate during the 21st Century.

“In 2000, 4.0 out of every 1,000 Americans got divorced. By 2017, the divorce rate had dropped to 2.9 per 1,000 people.

The decline in divorce rate is no doubt tied to the decrease in the marriage rate. In 2000, 8.2 Americans were married for every 1,000 people. By 2017, only 6.9 Americans for every 1,000 people were married.”

20 Helpful Ways to Enjoy a Happy Marriage

1. Love the LORD and your spouse unconditionally

2. Don’t resurrect the dead mistakes of your past

3. Sustain a family altar in your home

4. Share and Meditate the Word of God together every day

5. Respectfully tell your spouse the truth in all circumstances

6. Exercise high level of patience when your partner is impatient

7. Understand the strength and weakness of your spouse

8. Lustful temptation would surely come; flee and avoid excuse to the guilt

9. Create time to share funny moment with your spouse

10. Do things together at home

11. Pass your night together on the same bed and not separate rooms

12. Happy marriage requires a healthy sexual relationship, so please do your best to satisfy your spouse. It’s a strong course!

13. Resolve your differences in your room and not in the midst of in-laws and friends

14. Each spouse needs to agree on using the Word of God in the Bible as the ‘conflict resolution tool’!

15. God hates divorce! So, don’t think about it. It’s not a solution

16. Hot critics and nagging cannot yield a happy marriage; speak softly and always take a deep breath during tough conversation

17. It is wise for you and your spouse to always agree on the financials

18. Train your children together with the word of God and make your lifestyle a holy role model

19. Forgive your spouse seventy times seven times daily

20. Go out together and witness the Good News to people and the LORD would reward both of you.

Happy marriage is achievable if you follow the steps above. It’s my manual working well for me. Lay the foundation of your marriage on the word of God and not on the corrupt culture of the world. You would enjoy your peaceful marriage if you endure and get yourself disciplined.  

New Year: How Christian Should Start a New Season!

Posted by Jan 12, 2021 Holy Word, Family, Word of Faith Leave a Comment
New Year: How Christian Should Start a New Season!

The beginning of a new year is an opportunity for Christians to check and balance their relationship with the LORD. It is time to seek GOD’s face for a new improved design of another fruitful year.

Today’s message elaborates steps to take in the early part of a new year to gain fruitfulness.

12 Steps to Take as You Start a New Year

1. Give thanks to the LORD for last year and appreciate Him for the new one.

2. Highlight the achievement and shortfalls of last year for better planning.

3. List and present your wonderful wishes for the new year to the LORD.

Proverbs chapter 13 verse 16: “Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool lays open his folly.”

4. Forgive yourself and everyone that offended you.

5. Do a spiritual audit of your life using the scriptures.

6. I recommend the first 7 days of the new year for intensive prayers to seek GOD’s face and to know HIS plan for your life.

First Chronicles chapter 16 verse 11 to 12: “Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face evermore! Remember His marvellous works which He has done, His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth.

7. List every response from the LORD.

8. Don’t be afraid if you hear nothing after 7 days, the Holy Spirit would communicate as you obey the word of GOD.

9. Sustain your Bible reading plan for the year.

Hebrew chapter 4 verse 12: “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

10. Make a list of Bible verses that would improve your spiritual. life.

11. Itemize the things that negatively affect your financials the previous year and seek help to avoid its repetition.

12. Every action that hampered your performance last year must not be repeated in the new year.

7 Bible verses that Helps for a Good Start!

1. Choose to strictly follow GOD

“When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, “Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” (Mark 8:34)

2. Put Faith in the LORD and not in the Money

“So, Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

3. Be Hopeful for a better year

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

4. Look to the LORD and not to any person

“I will lift up my eyes to the hills-From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

5. Don’t worry about the unknown in the new year

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

6. Don’t dwell in your last year shortfalls

“Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

7. The determinant of a wonderful year is your choice

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:33-34)

 

A Guide on a New Year Plan

It goes beyond a thoughtful posture on your couch, so a pen and a paper (or iPad) is essential for a good planning. Many points to write are not limited to the following:

1. Important new decisions to make for the year.

2. Your financial goals and how to achieve them.

3. How to improve your spiritual relationship with the LORD.

4. Mistakes of last year and its corrections for this year.

5. The aspect of your life that needs to change and how to get it done.

6. How you want to be a source of blessings to the poor.

7. Things to do to make the new year better than last year.

8. Identifying the time-wasters of your life and how to curb them.

9. Additional steps to take to improve the bond of your family.

10. How to contribute to the great mission of evangelism.

When you list your points, then you would have the confidence and assurance that the new year would be a great one for you. Present your points to the LORD for guidance and approval. I tried this every year and it works well for me.

 

A fruitful new year starts with intensive personal planning, presenting the plans to the LORD who has the power of fulfilment and obedience to the guidance of the LORD as the events unfolds every day. I pray that the LORD would make you enjoy this year in a spectacular form in Jesus name.