Category Archives: Family

15 Most Common Reasons for Divorce You Must Know!

Posted by Dec 31, 2021 Family, Holy Word Leave a Comment
15 Most Common Reasons for Divorce You Must Know!

Divorce is painful to couples and unhealthy to their future generations. So, it is wise to know the common reasons for divorce which helps you to make your marriage stronger and unbreakable.

Today’s sermon highlights the popular and unpopular causes of divorce. And the intension of this message is to discourage divorce at all cost because God hates divorce.

“For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore, take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”” (Malachi 2:16)

According to the United Nations, the Maldives has the highest divorce rate, with 10.97 divorces taking place per 1,000 people each year. Belarus has the second highest worldwide divorce rate, with 4.63 per 1,000, followed by the US.

The CDC reports that there are approximately 827,000 divorces every year. That is roughly 68,916 divorces per month or 2,265 divorces per day.

It would be a joy to the LORD if the number of Christians in these statistics can tend towards zero…

15 Major Reasons for Divorce You Must Avoid!

1. Young Age; A lasting marriage won’t be too impatient to start at teenage or adolescent age.

2. Lack of sound Courtship period; Failure to understand individual difference to some extent before marriage can short-live such relationship. Your courtship must not be a short one and if it doesn’t flow then your marriage cannot be successful.

3. Little or no education on marriage; Learning from Elders, Pastors and other counsellors before marriage helps to destroy the forces of divorce.

4. Financial recklessness; Divorce is imminent if marriage starts on a poverty level or lack of knowledge on money management.

5. Not ready to take responsibilities; when one or both partners lack commitment to sustain the home when things get tough.

6. Toxic communication; careless talks, hot argument, verbal abuse, coarse jokes, not having time to listen to each other must be avoided in marriage.

7. Long-distance marriage; God did not design marriage for husband and wife to live separately.

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)

8. Religious difference; It is too risky in this generation for a Christian to marry someone who is not knowledgeable and faithful to the word of God in the Bible.

9. Sexual intimacy; It’s uncommon for both couples to have the same drive, so both must shift ground for a common point of understanding.

10. Extramarital affairs; Exercise self-control when dealing with opposite sex.

11. Addiction; Drug abuse, alcoholics and gambling are terrible features that kills marriage.

12. Domestic Abuse; Angry moment is inevitable but hitting your spouse is demonic. Go out for a walk when the room is tensed.

13. Cohabitation; Living together with your partner before marriage would likely cause divorce in the future because it is against the plan of God for a happy marriage.

14. Premarital pregnancy; This is a fruit of fornication against God’s will.

15. Parents’ divorce; You and your spouse must put extra effort to keep your marriage by not following the footstep of your parents who subscribed to divorce as a best option.

The points above are the features that leads to divorce, so be faithful to the LORD and to your spouse and avoid all the reasons for divorce.

Happy Marriage: 20 Secrets of Happy Christian Home

Posted by Feb 14, 2021 Holy Word, Family 1 Comment
Happy Marriage: 20 Secrets of Happy Christian Home

Happy marriage for Christian couples is not free of challenge but the beauty of agape love is the string that pulls the joy for the couples.

It is a serious concern to me to minister the helpful steps to take for Christian couples to enjoy a happy marriage because countries keeping marriage statistics shows a red alert. Some youths are scared of marriage due to the fear of sad experience.

For instance, the Census Bureau’s 2017 American Community Survey recorded decline in the U.S. divorce rate during the 21st Century.

“In 2000, 4.0 out of every 1,000 Americans got divorced. By 2017, the divorce rate had dropped to 2.9 per 1,000 people.

The decline in divorce rate is no doubt tied to the decrease in the marriage rate. In 2000, 8.2 Americans were married for every 1,000 people. By 2017, only 6.9 Americans for every 1,000 people were married.”

20 Helpful Ways to Enjoy a Happy Marriage

1. Love the LORD and your spouse unconditionally

2. Don’t resurrect the dead mistakes of your past

3. Sustain a family altar in your home

4. Share and Meditate the Word of God together every day

5. Respectfully tell your spouse the truth in all circumstances

6. Exercise high level of patience when your partner is impatient

7. Understand the strength and weakness of your spouse

8. Lustful temptation would surely come; flee and avoid excuse to the guilt

9. Create time to share funny moment with your spouse

10. Do things together at home

11. Pass your night together on the same bed and not separate rooms

12. Happy marriage requires a healthy sexual relationship, so please do your best to satisfy your spouse. It’s a strong course!

13. Resolve your differences in your room and not in the midst of in-laws and friends

14. Each spouse needs to agree on using the Word of God in the Bible as the ‘conflict resolution tool’!

15. God hates divorce! So, don’t think about it. It’s not a solution

16. Hot critics and nagging cannot yield a happy marriage; speak softly and always take a deep breath during tough conversation

17. It is wise for you and your spouse to always agree on the financials

18. Train your children together with the word of God and make your lifestyle a holy role model

19. Forgive your spouse seventy times seven times daily

20. Go out together and witness the Good News to people and the LORD would reward both of you.

Happy marriage is achievable if you follow the steps above. It’s my manual working well for me. Lay the foundation of your marriage on the word of God and not on the corrupt culture of the world. You would enjoy your peaceful marriage if you endure and get yourself disciplined.  

New Year: How Christian Should Start a New Season!

Posted by Jan 12, 2021 Holy Word, Family, Word of Faith Leave a Comment
New Year: How Christian Should Start a New Season!

The beginning of a new year is an opportunity for Christians to check and balance their relationship with the LORD. It is time to seek GOD’s face for a new improved design of another fruitful year.

Today’s message elaborates steps to take in the early part of a new year to gain fruitfulness.

12 Steps to Take as You Start a New Year

1. Give thanks to the LORD for last year and appreciate Him for the new one.

2. Highlight the achievement and shortfalls of last year for better planning.

3. List and present your wonderful wishes for the new year to the LORD.

Proverbs chapter 13 verse 16: “Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool lays open his folly.”

4. Forgive yourself and everyone that offended you.

5. Do a spiritual audit of your life using the scriptures.

6. I recommend the first 7 days of the new year for intensive prayers to seek GOD’s face and to know HIS plan for your life.

First Chronicles chapter 16 verse 11 to 12: “Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face evermore! Remember His marvellous works which He has done, His wonders, and the judgments of His mouth.

7. List every response from the LORD.

8. Don’t be afraid if you hear nothing after 7 days, the Holy Spirit would communicate as you obey the word of GOD.

9. Sustain your Bible reading plan for the year.

Hebrew chapter 4 verse 12: “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

10. Make a list of Bible verses that would improve your spiritual. life.

11. Itemize the things that negatively affect your financials the previous year and seek help to avoid its repetition.

12. Every action that hampered your performance last year must not be repeated in the new year.

7 Bible verses that Helps for a Good Start!

1. Choose to strictly follow GOD

“When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, “Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” (Mark 8:34)

2. Put Faith in the LORD and not in the Money

“So, Jesus said to them, “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

3. Be Hopeful for a better year

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

4. Look to the LORD and not to any person

“I will lift up my eyes to the hills-From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

5. Don’t worry about the unknown in the new year

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

6. Don’t dwell in your last year shortfalls

“Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

7. The determinant of a wonderful year is your choice

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:33-34)

 

A Guide on a New Year Plan

It goes beyond a thoughtful posture on your couch, so a pen and a paper (or iPad) is essential for a good planning. Many points to write are not limited to the following:

1. Important new decisions to make for the year.

2. Your financial goals and how to achieve them.

3. How to improve your spiritual relationship with the LORD.

4. Mistakes of last year and its corrections for this year.

5. The aspect of your life that needs to change and how to get it done.

6. How you want to be a source of blessings to the poor.

7. Things to do to make the new year better than last year.

8. Identifying the time-wasters of your life and how to curb them.

9. Additional steps to take to improve the bond of your family.

10. How to contribute to the great mission of evangelism.

When you list your points, then you would have the confidence and assurance that the new year would be a great one for you. Present your points to the LORD for guidance and approval. I tried this every year and it works well for me.

 

A fruitful new year starts with intensive personal planning, presenting the plans to the LORD who has the power of fulfilment and obedience to the guidance of the LORD as the events unfolds every day. I pray that the LORD would make you enjoy this year in a spectacular form in Jesus name.

Family Restoration: 12 ways to Restore your Family

Posted by Nov 16, 2019 Holy Word, Family 6 Comments
Family Restoration: 12 ways to Restore your Family

Family restoration is the act of getting your spouse and children back to a satisfactory and joyful state at home.

The general divorce statistics in the United States shows that about 40 to 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. And The average length of time for first marriages ending in divorce is eight years. These statistics are worrisome and not acceptable for a healthy society.

If you are going through a challenging time in your family or you want to avoid family crash, then today’s message would be a great help for you.

12 Ways to Achieve Family Restoration

1. Seek Knowledge

Your home won’t perish if you read Bible passages that emphasize the significance of family. Read good books and articles on how to keep your home firm.

And your understanding will enhance your communication skill to your family during the restoration meeting.

Read passages such as: 1Corinthians chapter 7, Ephesians chapter 5, Malachi 2:16 and 1Peter chapter 3.

Jesus says: “But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, ‘and the two shall become one flesh’; so, then they are no longer two, but one flesh. “Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:6-9)

2. Remove the log of wood in your eyes

List all the complaints your spouse and children have against you. Arrange the source of conflict in categories. For Instance; financial, religious, philosophical differences and so on.

3. Make a long list

List all the complaints you have against your spouse and children. The purpose for the list is to achieve family restoration and not to cause more troubles.

4. Draw a comparison Table

Tabulate what you want from them and what they want from you on a single correspondence table. This will give you a clear picture of how to handle the conflict for a perfect family restoration.

5. Learn to overlook

No one can give you a perfect satisfaction in life, thus you have to learn how to overlook some issues.

6. Give room for second chance

Terrible issue such as cheat, abuse or stealing which cannot be overlooked should be resolved through forgiveness and giving the offender the opportunity to study the Bible for repentance.

7. Don’t play blame game

No one is a loser or winner during family restoration.

8. Fast and Pray

Fast and pray before calling the meeting for family restoration. Your family is best restored on spiritual foundation made by God.

9. Invite a man of God

If it is difficult to get the audience of your family members, then seek the help of a man of God to convene and coordinate the meeting. Such meeting is better done in the morning when everyone’s brain is calm.

10. Forgiveness is the Master Key

Ask for forgiveness during the reconciliation meeting. This step would go a long way to restore your family.

11. Open a New Chapter

Narrate the unique understanding you got through the word of God and list the new character you’ll put up for the peace of the family.

12. Question and Answer

Give room for question and answer during the meeting and you would be amazed that this step would lead to your family restoration.

To restore your family is a healthy process that brings joy to the heart of the family members. Family restoration promotes unity and enhances long life. I had tried the steps above and they worked perfectly. I want you to follow the steps above and you would surely get your family restored in Jesus name.

Family Conflict: 10 Steps to Conflict Resolution

Posted by Oct 21, 2019 Holy Word, Family 2 Comments
Family Conflict: 10 Steps to Conflict Resolution

Family conflict is an inevitable misunderstanding that helps the Christian home to grow stronger if the resolution is carefully done.

About 90 percent of runaway youth accommodated in shelters organized by the Family Youth Service Bureau and 75.5 percent in residential programs reported family conflict as critical issues leading to their homelessness.

This information is alarming, but today’s message would enlighten you on the significance of family conflict and how to get over it in a godly way.

What are the Causes of Family Conflict?

  1. Financial matters: Shortage of funds to pay bills or loss of job.   
  2. Unfaithfulness: extramarital affairs
  3. Different opinions related to child bearing and nurturing
  4. Cogent decision-making for the family
  5. Lack of proper communication which include; cursing, insulting and yelling can trigger family conflict.
  6. Learning to live as a new couple
  7. Attempt to separate or divorce
  8. Sibling rivalry
  9. Scope for child discipline
  10. Interference of Extended Family or In-Laws
  11. Difference in spiritual understanding

10 Effects of Unresolved Family Crisis

  1. Cancelation of Family altar which can cause family dysfunction, such as marital stress, violence and bad psychological manipulation of the children.
  2. Emotional disturbance
  3. Anxiety
  4. Post-traumatic stress syndrome
  5. Depression.
  6. Family conflict can lead to child neglect
  7. Mental Health
  8. It melts the Agape love away and could lead to separation or divorce
  9. Extreme case of unresolved family conflict can trigger suicidal thoughts.
  10.  Family conflicts put-off God’s presence in such family.

10 Steps to Family Conflict Resolutions

Since there is no perfect home without family conflict, then the following reliable resolutions can help you keep your home intact. I won’t forget to tell you that it works for me very well:

1. Recite the Lord’s Prayer: When provocation knocks at your door, respond by reciting the Lord’s Prayer in your heart. This is one of the key solutions that helps me to control exchange of harsh words in my family.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

2. Go for Fresh air: This is essential when the conflict raised the room temperature so high that if care is not taking, it can lead to ‘explosion’. Thirty minutes’ walk can calm your anger and it also give audience to the Holy Spirit to minister peace to you.

3. Find Common level: Arguments does not resolve conflicts. Try to understand the common ground which becomes the parameters for conflict resolution.

4. Listen and Stay Calm: Put emotions aside and listen to what your family members say and understand what they mean. Then carefully explain your side of the topic with the intention to establish a common understanding.

5. Be hard on the challenge: Don’t be hard on your family member(s), but address the problem sharply rather than laying blames.

6. Entertain questions: Questions from both sides would give a clear picture of family conflicts that arise as a result of misunderstanding or misinformation. No one knows all when it comes to family conflict resolution.

7. Open the Bible: Family conflict resolution becomes a reality if you and your family members take the word of God as the reference point. It removes the plank in your eyes.

“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye…?” (Matthew 7:3-5)

8. Family Altar: To pray together is a strong action that solves family conflict very fast.

9. Seeking Elder’s Help: When the family conflict resolution hits the wall at the final stage, then it is wise to invite one or two men of God to mediate.

“Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church…” (Matthew 18:15-17)

10. Contribution of Solutions: Once both sides of the family have a common understanding of the matter, then it is time to allow contribution of solutions from both sides. Your willingness to compromise would achieve meaningful conflict resolutions.

Family conflict is not a curse, but a test situation for every family on earth. Conflict can bring healing, unity and strength to the family if the resolution is done in a godly manner.