Tag Archives: family conflict

Family Conflict in Christian Home: 10 Causes and How to Solve them!

Posted by Jun 11, 2023 Family, Holy Word , 2 Comments
Family Conflict in Christian Home: 10 Causes and How to Solve them!

Family conflict in Christian home is not a strange occurrence and cannot be eradicated but if not resolved with the help of the Holy Spirit, then it becomes a useful opportunity for the evil spirits to torture and break-up the Christian family.

According to Forbes in recent statistics, 70% to 80% of Americans consider their families dysfunctional. It is not good news but if you are going through any form of domestic crisis, today’s message will explain to you the causes and how to solve the family conflict in Christian home.

 What is Family Conflict in Christian Home?

Family conflict is a form of bitter crisis that occurs in the home that leads to collapse of peace and absence of harmony. If not resolved quickly then it can lead to family feud, separation or divorce. Family conflict in Christian home simply refers to disconnection from the Holy Spirit when uncomfortable issues arise.  

 5 Heart-touching Quotes about Family Conflict

Since no spiritual status is above family crisis then I want you to benefit from the quotes below which I love so much:

1. “Prayer, desperate prayer, seems so simple, but it’s a step rarely taken by those in family conflict.” – Erwin W. Lutzer

2. “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” – William James

3. “It is easy to damage relationships when conflict resolutions do not work out. But resolving conflicts is not an impossible task and as long as it is approached with respect and effective communication is applied, it can be a rewarding process that can further strengthen relationships.” – John Ward

4. “Interestingly, when we are in conflict, we are not at our best; in fact, we are most often at our worst. We can be filled with our own pain, fear, uncertainty, righteous indignation, power struggle, self-righteousness, anger, and punitive desires.” – Hesha Abrams

5. “Conflict cannot survive without your participation.” – Wayne Dyer

 10 Causes of Family Conflict in Christian home

1. Communication breakdown

This can happen when family members don’t feel heard or understood, or when there are misunderstandings or miscommunications.

2. Differences in beliefs in values

This occurs in Christian homes where family members have different interpretations of scripture, or when they have different opinions on moral or ethical issues.

3. Financial Stress

It can arise from a variety of factors, such as job loss, debt, or disagreements about spending habits.

4. Parenting Disagreement

This is a common cause of family conflict in Christian home because both parents have unique perspectives and experiences that shape their parenting styles.

5. The interference of Relatives

In-laws, grandparents, siblings, step-children, etc., can all create stress within a family if not properly controlled.

6. Bad Orientation about Sex

Crisis springs up among spouses when frequency and satisfaction of intimacy becomes an issue. And commotion also occurs when parents try to make the children to understand the right time and true usefulness of sex due to the corrupt acts going-on in the society.

7. Distribution of Household work

It’s a potential cause of conflict at home. You need to see how I argue with my wife about the chores I won’t do…I make it funny at the end of the day or else…

8. Unequal Physical and Spiritual Level of Understanding

This factor is a major cause of family conflict in Christian home because the spouse with a higher level gets angry easily due to lower expectations and parents get mad at the children because they expect the children to be brilliant as they are.

9. High tasking job or a church role

Work-conflict is no more news around the world which is a strong cause of family conflict and that is the reason many Pastor’s children are wayward – no time for parental guidance!

10. Inability to identify the period of Temptation

No family on earth can be so perfect to escape the period of temptation. Strife arises when temptation is seen as weakness or unavoidable opportunity to mess up.   

 10 Practical Family Conflict Resolutions for Christian Homes

My home will have broken by now but thanks to the powerful steps below that sustain it and I implore you to follow the points below:

1. Firstly, all Family members must Love the LORD

The first love of every member of your home must be to the LORD. So, read about GOD and understand His will, then your first affection should stick to HIM. Then your other family members take the second position of love in your heart.

2. Your home must be filled with the Holy Spirit

I am not talking about the false speaking in tongues all around us. I mean every member of your family must attain a spirit level where they can hear GOD speak to their inner ears. Family conflict in Christian home would become history if every member hears from the Holy Spirit before acting.

3. Reference to the Bible for Resolution

Many arguments can be resolved if the Holy Bible is used as your reference for resolution. If every member has First Love for GOD and filled with the Holy Spirit, then misconceptions of the Bible passages about selfish interests won’t occur.

4. Create a Family Altar

Family Altar is the space and time created daily for you and your family members to worship, pray and praise the LORD. In my home we find it difficult to sustain conflict so we resolve it before going to the family altar. Thus, forgive and learn to take responsibility without excuses.

5. Do Things Together

You understand each other much more when you do household chores together. Wine and dine at the same table and play together in your compound.

6. Disallow Third Party Interference

I am not against socializing with in-laws but can you make it an annual thing? Don’t seek for help from all friends because their home may be terrible than yours! If the family conflict in your home cannot be resolved with five steps above then seek counsel from a married God-fearing servant of GOD.

7. A gentle answer turns away wrath

Family conflict in Christian home will cease when all members respect one another, listen carefully and speak without yelling or cursing…

8. Don’t follow the Worldly Style

The worldly culture allows abuse, cheat, separation, divorce etc.

9. Run a common Purse like the Disciples

Your spouse and you must have a strong financial understanding of your incomes…no need to hide. Spend responsibly and save wisely. Your children will grow up to follow your footsteps.

10. Speak out when going through Temptation

This step is a powerful one that can prevent family conflict in Christian home. Spouse should share with partner while children should share with their parents. Then their prayers and counselling done in love will defeat the power of such temptation.

  5 Bible Verses about Family Clash

1. “And I looked, and arose and said to the nobles, to the leaders, and to the rest of the people, “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for your brethren, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses.” Nehemiah 4:14

2. “Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” Matthew 18:15

3. “Here am I and the children whom the LORD has given me! We are for signs and wonders in Israel from the LORD of hosts, who dwells in Mount Zion.” Isaiah 8:18

4. “For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.” Matthew 12:50

5. “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” Matthew 10:37

5 Inspiring Prayers to Solve Family Conflict in Christian Home

1. Prayer for Forgiveness

“Our Father in heaven I ask you forgive us for our wrong doings. Pardon us for our failure to hear from you before we act. Wash us and make us clean in Jesus name.”

2. Prayer for Peace

“LORD, my family bows before you and we seek for your powerful intervention to stop the family conflicts that resurface in our midst always, make a pronouncement of peace into this family in Jesus name.”

3. Prayer for Healing

“Heavenly Father, I come to you with this burden that I have been carrying for a long time. Let every hurt, pain and bad memory be washed away with the Blood of Jesus Christ. Cleanse us from resentment and bitterness and help us to love one another just the way you love us.

4. Prayer for Love

Dear LORD, restore your joy in my family and fill our home with the Spirit of your love. Open our eyes to see and understand what it means to love You and love ourselves in Jesus name.

5. Prayer for Blessings

Yahweh, I pray you bless my home with physical wealth and spiritual enrichment and your glory to shine on us, please put an end to family conflict in my Christian home in Jesus name.

 

Family conflict in Christian home is resolvable without getting out of control if you build the foundation of your family on love of God, patience, humility, spiritual understanding, and a solid family altar of worship to the LORD. May the LORD continue to help us keep our family firm and help us defeat all the plans of the Devil who wants endless crises in the family settings on earth.

Family Conflict: 10 Steps to Conflict Resolution

Posted by Oct 21, 2019 Holy Word, Family 2 Comments
Family Conflict: 10 Steps to Conflict Resolution

Family conflict is an inevitable misunderstanding that helps the Christian home to grow stronger if the resolution is carefully done.

About 90 percent of runaway youth accommodated in shelters organized by the Family Youth Service Bureau and 75.5 percent in residential programs reported family conflict as critical issues leading to their homelessness.

This information is alarming, but today’s message would enlighten you on the significance of family conflict and how to get over it in a godly way.

What are the Causes of Family Conflict?

  1. Financial matters: Shortage of funds to pay bills or loss of job.   
  2. Unfaithfulness: extramarital affairs
  3. Different opinions related to child bearing and nurturing
  4. Cogent decision-making for the family
  5. Lack of proper communication which include; cursing, insulting and yelling can trigger family conflict.
  6. Learning to live as a new couple
  7. Attempt to separate or divorce
  8. Sibling rivalry
  9. Scope for child discipline
  10. Interference of Extended Family or In-Laws
  11. Difference in spiritual understanding

10 Effects of Unresolved Family Crisis

  1. Cancelation of Family altar which can cause family dysfunction, such as marital stress, violence and bad psychological manipulation of the children.
  2. Emotional disturbance
  3. Anxiety
  4. Post-traumatic stress syndrome
  5. Depression.
  6. Family conflict can lead to child neglect
  7. Mental Health
  8. It melts the Agape love away and could lead to separation or divorce
  9. Extreme case of unresolved family conflict can trigger suicidal thoughts.
  10.  Family conflicts put-off God’s presence in such family.

10 Steps to Family Conflict Resolutions

Since there is no perfect home without family conflict, then the following reliable resolutions can help you keep your home intact. I won’t forget to tell you that it works for me very well:

1. Recite the Lord’s Prayer: When provocation knocks at your door, respond by reciting the Lord’s Prayer in your heart. This is one of the key solutions that helps me to control exchange of harsh words in my family.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

2. Go for Fresh air: This is essential when the conflict raised the room temperature so high that if care is not taking, it can lead to ‘explosion’. Thirty minutes’ walk can calm your anger and it also give audience to the Holy Spirit to minister peace to you.

3. Find Common level: Arguments does not resolve conflicts. Try to understand the common ground which becomes the parameters for conflict resolution.

4. Listen and Stay Calm: Put emotions aside and listen to what your family members say and understand what they mean. Then carefully explain your side of the topic with the intention to establish a common understanding.

5. Be hard on the challenge: Don’t be hard on your family member(s), but address the problem sharply rather than laying blames.

6. Entertain questions: Questions from both sides would give a clear picture of family conflicts that arise as a result of misunderstanding or misinformation. No one knows all when it comes to family conflict resolution.

7. Open the Bible: Family conflict resolution becomes a reality if you and your family members take the word of God as the reference point. It removes the plank in your eyes.

“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye…?” (Matthew 7:3-5)

8. Family Altar: To pray together is a strong action that solves family conflict very fast.

9. Seeking Elder’s Help: When the family conflict resolution hits the wall at the final stage, then it is wise to invite one or two men of God to mediate.

“Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church…” (Matthew 18:15-17)

10. Contribution of Solutions: Once both sides of the family have a common understanding of the matter, then it is time to allow contribution of solutions from both sides. Your willingness to compromise would achieve meaningful conflict resolutions.

Family conflict is not a curse, but a test situation for every family on earth. Conflict can bring healing, unity and strength to the family if the resolution is done in a godly manner.